Me: So, I’m thinking that I might change both of your names on my blog.
The Girl: Really?
The Boy: What?
Me: You know, pick a new name to call you when I’m writing about you on my blog.
The Girl: Why?
Me: It’s just time. You’re getting older now, and it’s best if folks don’t know that I’m talking about you specifically.
The Girl: But I like being on your blog.
Me: You will be on my blog, but you might not always like people knowing that it’s you I’m talking about, and Dad and I think this is best. We didn’t know how many people would be reading it at the time I started writing it.
The Girl: So, what’s our new names going to be?
Me: I’m not sure. Maybe you can help me pick your new names.
The Boy: AJ! James! Seamus! Luke! Jacob! (He proceeds to rattle off all the names of his friends.)
Me: Buddy, let’s pick a name that isn’t of anyone we know. We don’t want their parents to think I’m writing about them.
The Girl: How about Sarah or Samantha? They both start with S.
Me: We know three Sarah’s and a Samantha. It doesn’t have to start with S. It can be any name you want.
The Girl: Amy or Jen. Oh! How about Lisa or Stephanie?
Me: Um, you weren’t born in the late 1970s.
The Girl: What?
Me: I mean, I have a lot of Facebook friends with those names. And we have relatives with those names.
The Girl: Hmm. That’s true.
The Boy: I like the name Dylan. Because it sounds like my name without he “k-k-k” sound.
Me: That’s a great name, Buddy. I was thinking of calling you Liam, but I really like Dylan.
The Boy: I like Liam! Call me that.
Me: Well, you decide. I like both names.
The Girl: I don’t know what my name should be. Maybe Chloe.
Me: Maybe. How about Delaney? That was a name I liked when I was pregnant with you.
The Girl: No! I’ve never heard of that name!
This Girl: No, I don’t know that name either.
Me: Okay, what other ideas do you have?
The Girl: Melina, maybe. Or Emily. But I need to think about it.
Me: Okay, we don’t need to decide now.
The Boy: Are you going to write a note to my teacher?
Me: No, why?
The Boy: So she knows what to call me. And I might need help spelling it.
Me: Buddy! Your real name isn’t going to change! Just on my blog. Instead of writing your real name, I’m going to write Dylan or Liam instead. But in real life, you’re going to have the same name you’ve always had.
The Boy: Dang it. I like my new name.
Me: Sorry, buddy. I’m not changing your real name.
The Girl: What is your name going to be, Mommy?
Me: Tara. I need to leave mine the same so people can find me on the internet.
The Girl: I like my real name. It fits me. Call me that.
The Girl: What?
(Yeah. This conversation went on for a while.)
Stay tuned for the name change once Sarah/Samantha/Amy/Jen/Lisa/Stephanie/Chloe/Emily/Melina decides.
Oh, and feel free to weigh in with a name that wasn’t super popular in the late 1970s.
I think we need all the help we can get.