This May Be the Most Important Video You Ever Show Your Kids Prior to Halloween

There are so many things we, as parents, need to teach our children.

Sometimes we focus too much on teaching them the everyday tasks, such as tying their shoes, remembering to put the seat down, and opening a wine bottle without getting bits of the cork in it.

(Geesh, it took Dylan forever to learn this last one.  We were sure that there was something wrong with him.)

We have to remember to teach them about situations which happen less frequently, but are just as important.

Watch this (it’s only 27 seconds).  And ignore my post-workout clothing.

See?  Crucial life lessons going on here.

In case you want to use our lesson plan, here’s a basic outline:

1)  Collect some candy, making sure to have a decent collection of really awesome candy, sub-par candy, and super-lame candy.

2)  Lay out a selection of the candy on the floor, placing at least one really awesome piece in the row.

3)  Prompt the child, “Okay, you’re going to be given a test.  Now, don’t fail it, or else I will be very disappointed in you.  In fact, my love for you is directly related to how well you do on this test” (this motivates the child, you see).

Question One:

1)  “Sydney, if you were to go up to someone’s door and say, “trick or treat” and they held out a bowl of candy that contained these various kinds of candy, which should you choose? (lifesavers, tootsie roll pop, M&Ms, and airheads)

Obviously she failed this item, as she pointed to the NON-CHOCOLATE ITEM.  I’m disappointed, as I thought I had taught her better than that.

2)  “Dylan, same question.”

Well, he’s obviously the smart kid.  He immediately choose the chocolate.  He earned extra points for recognizing that M&Ms are clearly a superior kind of candy.

3)  “Sydney, this is your last chance.  Make me proud.”

That’s right!  If ever a candy item has CHOCOLATE AND PEANUT BUTTER in it, pick it.  Okay, now say to yourself, ‘square and orange, square and orange’ to help you remember the distinctive Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup package.

Now, there were several more test questions, many of which attempted to trick them by placing two different kinds of chocolate in the row, or placing two of the same kind of chocolate in the row, but of different sizes.  More advanced students will be able to understand that it’s not only about the kind of candy, but it’s also about the size.

In summary, the primary objectives of this lesson include:

1)  If there is a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup in sight, always choose that over all other items.

2)  If there is not a RPBC, your next best choice is any chocolate item.

3)  Now, don’t be fooled.  A tootsie roll is not really chocolate.  Don’t get all grabby and take a tootsie roll!  This may cause you to overlook authentic, high-quality chocolate, such as a Snickers bar or a Milky Way.

4)  If you’re presented with more than one type of chocolate, choose the largest one.

5)  If there is no chocolate present, choose the most unique sugary item (ex:  we can get lollipops at the bank and the hair salon, but we never get Nerds, Skittles, or Starbursts).

6)  If they try to offer you raisins, run away and we’ll come back and egg their house later.

You may want to wake your kids up and show them this video.  You don’t want them to let you down tomorrow night, do you?

Oh, and you’re welcome.  Happy Halloween.


  1. sue says:

    As alway I got my morning laugh by you exploiting your just kidding but I love your blog. Now when they open their treat bags that I left for them on your porch for them yesterday the super candy is for them and the little crafts. If you and Drew were good there is a orange square in each bag, one for you and one for him, they can pick more today if they want, or maybe you will be the soccer wife today. lol

  2. Millie says:

    LK did this all on her own…she told one lady that she could have her Laffy Taffy back because she “didn’t really care for it and would like M&Ms instead” I was mortified (for effect only, OBVIOUSLY)!

  3. Teri says:

    Is Sydney eating Fun Dip in that video?! For some reason that cracks me up, as you’re giving the Halloween lesson.

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